(Soon I'll return with more positive posts that are actually about Japan, I promise! I was just inspired by the date! :))
O America, you frontier of wide-open spaces, of plentiful forests, wide roads and gratuitous wildflower medians. Of rolling hills dotted with cows that are destined to become BBQ, hot dogs or thinly sliced be-pickled roast beef in one of a bajillion delicious, delicious delicatessens. Delicatessens that are next door to Mexican joints with melty cheese and burritos and real sour cream.
Look at you, flaunting your wealth of public benches and public trash cans and outdoor dining options.
And across the street is Target and Whole Foods and Hobby Lobby where, using the US measurement system and your debit card, you can buy lovely things to decorate your thick, luxuriously insulated walls. Walls that stay a consistent temperature because of central heating and air conditioning or maybe even a fireplace! Fireplaces! Second only to your garden bathtubs in their splendor ....
You are a paradise of enormous appliances, of high-energy lint-sucking washers and dryers and giant stainless steel refrigerators and vast ovens for (at Celsius) roasting those beautiful Thanksgiving birds. Birds served next to delicious desserts made with tubed crescent rolls and the assistance of that great American, Betty Crocker.
America, I love you. Don't ever change, no matter what anyone says.
