I recently read this post by another expat blogger referencing a Cracked.com article on popular misconceptions about Japan. It really speaks to me. Particularly the first two items about the myth that Japan is a high-tech wonderland of robots and hover boards.
Because whenever someone asks me about the awesome futuristic innovations of Japan.... well....I get a little peckish. And I feel compelled to dispel that particular myth in the strongest terms possible. I've mentioned several of these things several times before and I will continue to do so until people no longer ask me what it's like to live like the Jetsons.
I believe this particular myth was started by a foreigner who discovered a heated toilet seat in a Tokyo hotel. What he/she didn't understand is why the toilet seats are heated. It's because in most houses the rest of the bathroom isn't. So while your rear end is warm, the rest of you is frozen solid. I wish I had been a fly on the wall when someone long ago thought, "Wow, it sure is cold in the bathroom. Wonder what I could do about that?" and instead of figuring out how to, oh, I don't know, heat the bathroom, they came up with heating just the toilet seat. I have no idea how I'm supposed to potty-train a toddler here. How do I convince her to go to the bathroom when I don't want to go myself??
And let's not forget that half of the country's toilets are holes in the ground. Personally I would give up the fancy heated toilets for an entire country of plain, garden-variety toilets.
When they had the problem with heating in the rest of the house, they came up with a gadget called a kotatsu which is basically a heated table. It's a low table (like a coffee table) that has a heater on the underside. You put a blanket over it, and then sit on the floor with your legs in under it. And you watch TV. And hope you don't have to go to the bathroom. You might be thinking "Well, that sounds like a pretty neat invention!". No, no, it's not. You know what are neat inventions? Insulation. And thermostats.
As for robots, I'm only gonna care about one when it's Wall-E and will dispose of my garbage for me. Because I have no garbage disposal. And can't get one for less than $4000 and a piece of my soul. We've been told that "the sewer systems weren't designed for it". Which is a total load of garbage (no pun intended) if you ask me.
The laundry machines here (a combo washing machine/dryer) are ridiculously small and do a terrible job of actually drying your clothes. It's more like strangling the clothes to dampness. So everyone hangs their laundry outside. When you go down the street it's like a scene from The Grapes of Wrath. I dream of high-efficiency washers and dryers.
Our house came with a fax machine. They are very popular. And every week or so I have to go to a cash machine and get out a fat wad to do my grocery shopping. Because no one uses debit cards.
Did I go through a time warp in Narita airport?? Is it 1990?
And one last tip: if you ever come here don't think you can get super cheap and fabulously advanced electronics. You might be able to, but they are manufactured for the Japanese market which means there are no English settings. So unless you plan to also learn to read Japanese just buy your GPS/printer/camera etc. at home.
So the next time we meet, do yourself a favor and do not ask me about all of Japan's technological wizardry. Just....don't. Please. For my sake and yours.
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